No love-hate here. It’s more of a “love-like less” thing for sure.

On the one hand I know in my heart where I’ve been and what Ive been through and how can you hate something so powerful?
Something so champ?
Something that has proven to warrior and rise, time and time again, in spite of all the trauma?

On the other, I know I am capable of more and I have a long way to go. It can look better and feel better and perform better.

I stopped comparing mine to yours years ago. For the most part anyway.
Thank goodness.
Ours are so different and what we’ve been through, and what we are willing to do is so different.

It’s not a fair comparison to be sure.

So I stopped and I decided to honor and show gratitude for my body as it is, in the moment while continuing to do little things each day to improve. After all, it’s more important that I love me than if you love me. Even though I want everyone to love each other.

I was probably a baby the last time I had an “ideal body” or measured perfectly for height/weight on whatever ridiculous chart the doctors use to confirm you’re on track to fit the “standard” for health and beauty.

I was always heavy as a child. Even in my teens and 20’s my body was ravaged by pregnancy and poor choices and medical trauma and it’s never recovered. (Two teen pregnancies)

I’ve never, EVER, aligned with the standard “ideal” body type.
I have never had a youthful, strong, toned or proportioned body.
Never. I never gave myself permission to deserve that. Worthiness issues and all.

I have friends in their 40-60s that talk about wishing they had the body they had in their 20’s.
I have zero reference.
My 20’s body was more of a mess than my nearly 50 year old body is today. I’ve never had perfect breast and a tiny waist and lean/long legs. I have little memory of a body without stretch marks and diastasis recti. Ive never been cellulite and bump and crevice free.

Not ever.

This photo is as close as ive come. The skilled photographer I used for this photo shoot, positioned all my loose parts and pieces to be where they should be

I could allow the comparison to chase me under a rock. Or, I can put myself out there and maybe inspire someone else to love herself where she is.

I also make an effort to not complain about it or disparage myself publically. I try to not poison my body with my negative thoughts and do it more of a disservice.
I’m simply sharing some of my truth with you.

I’ve learned to appreciate my body for what it has done and can do and to try and see it through the eyes of the man that loves it too.

Something I have found interesting is how much the role of my mind plays on how I feel about myself. Oddly enough, my confidence has rarely equated to pant size or weight. Perhaps I was just naïve all these decades but looking back... I’m thankful for that.
Maybe I would treat myself differently if I did have a “perfect” body once upon a time.

We all certainly know people that work tirelessly on their wellness and fitness and look physically near perfect and are still miserable and say and believe wrong truths and hurtful things about themselves.

My hope is to inspire a thought or an idea in someone else that it’s perfectly right to love yourself and your body today. If you want to make a change, that’s mostly up to you. If you don’t, you don’t need to for anyone else.

You are perfectly beautiful and powerful and desirable exactly as you are. Where you are RIGHT NOW in your health journey is someone else’s dream body.

Take a sexy photo of yourself and #BelieveThat

Some friends and I started a 30 day yoga challenge today, I’m looking forward to the flow.
Part of our challenge was to share something about our bodies. This was my share. Thank you for reading and thank you for giving yourself and others around you some grace.

After all, you cant possibly know what a warrior she truly is. It’s not for you to know how far she’s already come. #bodypositivity #selflove #healthyliving #rosecoloredglasses #boudoir #feelsexy #feelsexyinyourownskin #feelsexyagain #beautyisaverb #yougogirl